Okay
by Lynyrd Lionheart
Summary: I told him goodbye... and I think I'm okay with that. Oneshot


**_A/N: Yes, I know- there are enough 'Edward doesn't come back' stories- but I don't expect many people to read this anyway. It's just a one-shot that wouldn't go away until I wrote it, leaving me unable to work on _Shadow Rising_. So, please enjoy:_**

_**Okay**_

It had been nearly four years since Edward had left, nearly four years since I had gotten a hole torn into my heart.

Over three years since I had left Forks behind.

I knew that Charlie had expected me to stay and start something with Jake. After I had discovered he was a werewolf, I think Jake expected me to start something with him.

Hell, _I_ had expected me to start something with him.

Then, one day I woke up and realized that the only way I could get over Edward was if I left Forks behind and started over fresh. So, I said my good-byes, and the next day I was in my truck heading no where in particular.

I just wanted to get away.

I saw America in the year I spent on the road. I got odd jobs at the various places I stopped at; I even went on a few dates. Slowly the hole began to heal. It didn't disappear, but it stopped hurting when I breathed. I could even think about Edward, and remember the good times we had had fondly.

I wasn't whole- but I was no longer broken.

I was now twenty-two, attending NYU for my degree in medicine, and working nights at a club as a bartender.

It wasn't the best job, but the tips were good.

I was clearing off some tables when I suddenly found myself in someone's arms on the dance floor. I looked up to give whatever freak it was that had grabbed me a piece of my mind, but my voice got stuck in my throat.

I had never expected to see Edward Cullen again, yet here I was dancing with him.

"It's been a while," he said. I didn't reply, I just stared up at him.

He continued to speak.

"You haven't changed much," he said. "You're still as beautiful as ever."

"You haven't changed at all," I replied, managing to gain control of my tongue.

"No, I suppose I haven't," he agreed sardonically. "I never had you pegged as the type to work in a club."

"Maybe you didn't know me as well as you thought you did," I shot back. "What are you doing here Edward?"

"Dancing obviously," his topaz eyes gazed into mine, and I could see a longing there that I knew was probably reflected in my own eyes. "I went back to Forks- about six months after you left, according to Charlie."

"So?" I asked.

"I missed you," he told me. "I still miss you."

"It's been four years, Edward," I told him. "Missing me isn't enough."

"I love you," he told me, his voice so soft I nearly missed it.

"And I love you. But sometimes love isn't enough. Good-bye Edward."

The song ended, and I left him on the dance floor to finish clearing off the tables.

I expected the hole to open up again.

It didn't.

The next day I saw Alice again on the University campus.

She was waiting for me.

"Hey Bella," she said with a smile. I returned it, but my whole heart wasn't in it. I knew why she was there.

"He broke me Alice," I told her. "And it took me a long time to put the pieces back together."

"He regrets it- and he loves you."

"Sometimes love just isn't enough," I replied, repeating the words I had said to Edward.

"Sometimes it is," she replied.

"Not this time. I told him good-bye… and I think I'm okay with that."

"So you'll throw everything you have together away?"

"Had- everything we _had_. And he already did that. I waited for a year Alice, before I left Forks. If he had come for me- I would have welcomed him with open arms. Not anymore. I've grown, matured- and the hole is finally beginning to heal. In a couple more years, I'll probably be married, maybe even have children."

"A year isn't that long," Alice replied.

"It is for a human. Good-bye, Alice."

That summer, I met a man- a law student. He didn't make my heart sing like Edward had, but he made me laugh, and he accepted that I could never give him my whole heart. We were married eighteen months later, and I gave birth to a little boy another year after that.

I never saw the Cullens' again. They disappeared from my life as quickly as they had reappeared.

I'm not going to lie- there were days I wondered 'what-if?' What if I had taken Edward back? What if…

Then I look at my children and I realize that I'm happy I didn't.

And I'm okay with that.


End file.
